A surprising message from the CDC: 'There is no zombie apocalypse' and 'CDC does not know of a virus or condition that would reanimate the dead (or one that would present zombie-like symptoms)'.
Of course the evidence is crystal clear and shows the opposite! There are zombie killings all over the world!
San Fransisco Chronicle
NY Daily News
Clearly, CDC is getting people accustomed to the idea that zombies exist and are going to take over the world, why else all the video games and horror movies? It's a conspiracy I tell you!
There are even serious scientists researching this! Do they get the attention they deserve??? NO!
*Sane Mode Activated*
Of course there's no zombie apocalypse, but it's amazing the CDC thought it necessary to comment on this. The existence of zombies should not be a question, let alone an apocalypse. Still, zombies amaze us. Why? Is it something to do with the fact we all like control and we all like to live our lives as we choose? So, a disease that would turn you or others into man-eating brainless undead freaks people out? I guess all people are control freaks up to a certain level.
Good thing I know I've already turned half-zombie by my cat! Yes, cat-lovers, you have a good chance of being infected by Toxoplasmosis, a parasite that lodges itself in your brain and could cause behavioral changes in the host.
Fortunately the changes are mild and...... Hmpfff...... Braaaaaainnnns! Brains!!!!! Brains!!!!!